Pretty, pretty princess commoner.
Gossip Girl’s Blair is no longer the princess of Monaco, y’all. Yes, our Queen B was finally granted her freedom from the boringness that was her marriage to Prince Louis, but was she fully ready to go from a royal whirlwind romance to a normal, slightly hipster, relationship with Dan? And remember that time Blair told Chuck not to pay the dowry that allow her to divorce her evil hubby? Yeah, about that….
Plus, what does Diana’s return mean for Nate and Lola’s relationship and Chuck’s search for answers about his mother? Find out…
Blair’s Just Being Blair, Y’all: Blair finally receives the documents to finalize her divorce, but hesitates on saying goodbye to her princess status forever. After Nate spills to Dan that Chuck paid Blair’s dowry, Dan continues the game of telephone, letting Blair in on Chuck’s secret. Blair confronts Chuck at the event o’ the week (a lingerie party because why not?!) saying, “You thought you could buy me back, just like you sold me for your hotel.” Chuck reasons that he never wanted her to find out about his involvement in her divorce. “I just wanted you to be free,” he says. “Who you choose to love with that freedom is up to you.” Cue Chuck dropping the mic and walking away. Boom.
Dan apologizes for spilling the beans, but then needs to know why she didn’t sign the divorce papers. “This has nothing to do with Chuck or the dowry. My whole life I wanted to be a princess…I know it’s silly, but I think it was just one more loss I needed to mourn to move on,” Blair explains. Dan, being the awesome BF he is, decides to stage one last princess moment for Blair: He takes her to her former court, the steps at the Met, dressed as a princess, or “a prom queen doing the walk of shame.” Too. Cute.
Mother Dearest: Chuck’s trying to decide whether or not it’s worth the risk to track down Elizabeth after learning she helped save his life. After receiving some advice from his therapist private investigator, Chuck decides to talk over the decision with the only person in his life who also got to know Elizabeth back in season three: Blair. Unfortunately, Blair isn’t in an advice-giving mood, seeing Chuck’s visit as just another one of his ruses to get back into her life. “We both know we’ve never been good as friends,” Blair says.
Later, Chuck’s private investigator comes by to drop a bombshell no one everyone saw coming: Elizabeth didn’t donate the blood, so she can’t be his mother! Which totally doesn’t lead us to…
Diana Brings the Drama: In a storyline totally unrelated to Chuck’s motherly woes, Diana Payne is back and bitchier than ever. You see, she’s intent on taking the Spectator back from our Nate and isn’t above using (or, you know, causing) problems in his relationship with Lola to get the job done. Nate neglects to inform Lola of his personal relationship with Diana, which she soon finds out about thanks to Google…and Nate’s suspicious behavior. Lola turns to cousin Serena for help, but the new Gossip Girl uses the situation to her advantage, setting Lola up to be the new It girl so she can finally be free of Gossip Girl’s invasive shackles. There are certain shades of limelight than can wreck a girl’s complexion. At least that’s what Holly Golightly said.
Too bad Lola is pulling a double-cross! She’s working with her handsome BF to get some dirty dish on Diana to ensure his job security and uses her Floridian BFF Aidan, who is—wait for it!—16, to do so. Obviously, Serena feels so betrayed by this development. “I’m so sorry. I hope we could still be friends,” Lola says to an unmoved Serena, who completely forgets the fact that she was using her cousin.
So what lesson did S learn from all of this? She likes being the It girl…and Gossip Girl. See, you can have your cake and eat it, too…for now anyway.